When he published this book, Eric Berne (a psychologist researcher from Montreal – Canada) ushered in a quiet revolution in psychology. Here was a system that was extremely simple, very usable, easy for client and therapist to practice and with immediate improvement.
This is not the only book to have defined TA (Transactional Analysis), but is maybe the most famous one, the one read widest and which had the most impact. This book is also maybe the most accessible one of the trilogy of books that founded Transactional Analysis:
- Transactional Analysis” by Eric Berne, the first book to expound TA as a field, a psychological view of the world and concrete method for therapy.
- “Games people play” by Eric Berne, this book. Accessible and popular at least in part because it explains and lists in concrete terms, multiple games “people play”.
- “I’m OK, You’re OK” a sort of follow up book by Thomas Harris a US psychologist who worked extensively under Berne.
Finally Transactional Analysis (TA), particularly in its modern formation, also incorporated Karpman’s drama triangle. Put together these three books and that later tool form the whole of modern Transactional Analysis.
Transactional Analysis (TA) Theory
Berne’s TA was another watershed moment in the history of psychology, in many ways on part with Freud’s “Interpretation of dreams” and psychoanalysis. Where Freud was the first one to offer a complete, rigorous investigative method for the total human psyche, Berne was the first one to truly bring a psychotherapeutic tool to the masses. A system that can be learned in 30 minutes, and that can be practiced in group therapy to quick massive gain in matters of weeks.
As sociology studies and post-modern thought started permeating the American intelligentsia during the 60’s, focus was being gradually applied also on how we learn. How we change (not just a series of abstract tools) in the real world, to effect the most, widest psychotherapeutic gain.
Click this link if you wish to hear Berne himself explain transactional analysis and the games people play, refer to his framework and give examples, you can watch this YouTube video.
Games people play, as social intercourse
Berne founds TA at heart on the observations he made of human interactions. How vital they are to human health: he cites Spitz’s work on orphans who deprived of physical contact show developmental challenges on par with what famine brings, biology and all. Berne also show how structured these interactions are, and largely predictable in many conditions. How often an interaction from individual A to individual B calls a response from B to A, and then back from A to B, and so on. How they provide a valuable and (potentially) enjoyable way to structure time, a key concept in his world view.
All in all he observes that these interactions are vital, yet largely structural, automatic and unconscious in large degrees. And notes that these interactions are potentially beneficial to each party (goal achievement, information gathering, time structuring) thereby coining the term “transactional analysis”.
And strikingly, Berne also manages to structure a simple, highly effective way to describe all the games we follow: We typically act out of three possible ego-states: Parent, Adult or Child. These are psychological realities, unconscious but that can usher in noticeable changes in behavior, like they changed “modes” in music.
Parent – Child – Adult model (PAC)
- Parent: Rules-based, drawn from early childhood and education norms: judgmental, authoritative, should and must, as well as some sound principles (discipline, etc.) Overly Parental behavior is undermining, paternalistic, kill-joy. Under-active Parent state in TA leads to permissiveness, neglect, inability to provide education and care to children, etc.
- Adult: The best mode by far in TA, when we act from our Adult we are sincere, thoughtful, and patient. We can make the best trade-offs between our Parent and our Child only from our Adult ego-state. It is the state where we should ideally spend most (not all) time. Especially in cases of conflict or social interaction.
- Child: Creative, unthinking, emotional, reactive, fun, angry, the Child ego-state is the one of primal urges and skills. Patients with a depressed capacity for the Child ego-state may for example appear joyless, bored during sex, etc. Patients with too much of it may appear incapable of handling their frustrations and drives, or weigh long term consequences.
It is worth repeating that these ego-states are dynamic, and it is their exact sequences and interactions that bring psychotherapeutic gain. But no one even calls each other “Parent” or “Child” in group therapies, which are the best indicated for this kind of approach. Typical comments you could hear in a group therapy would be “Yes… I felt like my Child was hooked by that comment too…” or “I loved how you managed to bring back your Adult to the fore despite reliving that traumatic moment”.
It is also worth noting that there are many contexts where acting out of your parent or child is the “right” thing to do. A mother raising a newborn will be in that mode “parent to child” to best benefit of all. Two partners having sex both tend to go into a Child mode, where they can let their spontaneity and creative intuition run wild, rather than being well-measured and even-keeled “Adult”.
Crossed Transactions, Contaminated ego-states
Seen through the lens of the PAC model, TA offers a few fundamental observations immediately:
- Contaminated ego-states: Imagine that your “Adult” is too much “Child” for example for want of authority figures, or too much “Parent” due to a strict education. Contaminated ego-states are a huge source of behavioral and existential wellness.
- Crossed transactions: Berne
The P-A-C model gives us a simple model to analyse our behavior collectively, in useful and intuitive terms. Transaction A, unedifying as it is (two gossips behaving Parent to Parent, in mutual validation) is a common and typically benign transaction. Which in many ways will provide some mental burnish to both participants (intimacy, control). Transaction B is vitally intuitive and highly desirable: A mother caring for her newborn, and receiving a variety of approval and validation signals in return from the newborn as well as family and friends. Transaction C is also unproblematic, two rational agents problem solving both have to work from their Adult. Two ethical business partners too.
Bigger problems however appear in cases of crossed transactions. To take a simple example, in many cases of adultery and cheating, a certain type of dynamic appears along the crossed interaction of A-A with P-C.
Games people play, that include crossed transactions tend to be damaging, bruising and/or result in poor real world outcomes. Another example Berne supplied is that of the savvy car salesman talking to the housewife buyer (you can sense the 50’s and 60’s zeitgeist in this one!) In it, he says, these two actors engage on one level in a A-A transaction: she is an adult woman, buying an adult important good from an adult seller. However quickly the salesman flips the narrative and says something to the effect of “Oh, how much for this one? You probably couldn’t afford it. Not that one.”
By using this Parent speech deliberately Berne writes, the savvy salesman tries to trigger the buyer out of her rational position. Berne writes that often, the housewife will reply quick as a flash “I’ll take that one then.” to make a point, but, ironically, reacting from a Child position in her response too. It is debatable how often this would work, we like to think there are still many adults in the world. But this example, if a bit broad, still serves well to illustrate another type of crossed transaction, and how they typically bring loss and sub-optimal outcomes at least for one party.
Games people play create more drama than fun
Berne notes too that these games are not to be understood in the sense that they are necessarily enjoyable or benign. They follow clear patterns and rules, but that guarantees in no way that the game being played is innocent or self-less. Many of the games are competitive, fallacious or abusive, damaging and/or can have very real-world consequences.
In an example of the more extreme games he codified we find abusive games such as “If it weren’t for you” or “I’m only trying to help”, as well as many others (“Rapo”, “Peasant”, etc.)
Occasionally he does mention a positive among games people play, a “good game” such as “busman’s holiday” but these are fewer and of lesser interest to therapy.
Games are mostly bearers of negative consequences such as justifying inappropriate behaviour, controlling and manipulating. Most games end up being deleterious to individuals’ senses of intimacy, sound decision making or potential for growth.
Structuring time in Transactional Analysis
One of the reasons why we engage in social intercourse through transactions is, simply, because we have an innate propension to structure time, lest we feel bored. Games people play also all provide this internal benefit: Structuring inner time.
Berne writes that this inner pressure to structure time becomes more acute if we are in company. Ask anyone, especially teenagers, what they hate most and many could tell you about “silence”. When we are in company we are more compelled to interact.
In short, we talk and interact (also through unconscious non-verbal cues) to structure time first, and then also often to achieve certain goals (looking cool, learning information etc.)
And for this transactional exchange to happen best, we need to be as authentic as possible, as little “wired” by a game we are playing unconsciously. And it needs to take place with as much coherence and contextual fitness. Games people play are all unique to a point and highly dependent on context, and participant’s awareness of a game of sorts being played. Developing a higher awareness around what games people play, can help managing difficult relations, communicate more effectively, manage relational risk.
Some situations bring forth our Parent, Adult or Child naturally. But disconnections in the modes of our transactions feel stressful and bring about personal limitations and damage. It is highly valuable to discern what ego-state in us is triggered by what context or event, it teaches us a lot about our inner psychic life, and represents an immediate opportunity to grow.
