Stoicism on emotional control and sound living
It might sound odd to speak of Stoicism, an ancient philosophy, in the context of modern therapeutic care. And yet Stoicism prones concepts and principles that can be found in many modern therapy schools: Living responsibly and making rational decisions (PCA and Rogerian therapy), creating meaning in our lives (Logotherapy), becoming more aware of our thoughts (Freudian, CBT, Meditation), of our roles as individuals (Transactional Analysis), of our biases and cognitive filters (Gestalt).
Stoic principles are millenary and have proven timeless, very much current for a wide variety of modern stoic practitioners. Time and again we turn to Stoic thought in hours of crisis and pandemic. Stoic thought is actually all around us, in our culture, in our favorite quotes and in cultural artifacts like the AA prayer for example (God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; And wisdom to know the difference).
The reason why Stoicism still rings odd to many is probably to do with the reductive understanding we have of the word “stoic” in modern society. The word has morphed with centuries, summarily boiled down in common use, to represent only a certain resilience to pain or stress. The ancient Greek meaning is however much more positive, and much wider-reaching.
Stoicism as a holistic philosophy of meaning and wellbeing
The ancient Stoic philosophers had a beautiful view of the world full of meaning, of courage to take necessary actions and of acceptance of what circumstance they could not change.
Far from being only some kind of Spartan philosophy, Stoicism was a practical school of thought that aimed to arm people with basic intellectual self-defense and self-care. In modern western languages, stoicism has been reduced to a narrow concept, that of withstanding test and pain gracefully. In the Greek world, Stoicism was a self-sustaining life philosophy full of responsibility for what one can change and acceptance of what one cannot. A concept reprised thousands of times since, more recently in the Alcoholic Anonymous prayer.
Epitectus and Marcus Aurelius are two of the most famous exponents of Stoic thoughts, and both lived it fully and without concession, though one was born crippled slave, and the other emperor of Rome. Epitectus used it to free himself from slavery and continued living a simple, authentic life till his death, attracting the attention of kings and emperors who jostled for an opportunity to talk to the enlightened one. As a cripple in Roman times, and a slave, Epictectus must have been forced brutally and early to consider what he could do at all. But Stoicism transcends personal circumstance, as Marcus Aurelius the Emperor would adopt a very similar life and values through his own dedication to Stoicism.
Marcus Aurelius used it every day in his management of the Empire, at a time of unparalleled instability for Rome (gradual collapse of the northern front to Germanic tribes, Antonine plague, colossal upheaval). Marcus also lived on principle, having access 24/7 to the most decadent array of pleasures and luxuries conceivable, he shunned it all effortlessly (an incredible feat, rarely observed).
He also led a simple, authentic and principled life. He consulted his generals regularly and was a much loved by the military of his frequent visits of the front line. At home, the plague threatened to collapse the empire even faster. He reassured citizens on their need to keep calm, on the need to do their best to wash and protect themselves. On the necessity of doing one’s best and carrying on without giving it to terror, panic or abandon.
Stoicism and emotions
Contrary to a popular belief Stoics did not prone that we should not have any emotions, or for a systematic reduction of our emotions. What they cautioned against was having disproportionate emotions, like say anger at a benign thing, that would cloud our judgement and erode our social bonds. What they also cautioned us against was lack of awareness.
Stoics were here again very much ahead of their time, inviting us 2000 years ago to reflect on the nature of our thoughts. Our we form them. Which ones concern objective facts and which ones concern interpreted opinions. To know the difference between the two, crisply and usefully. To spend time actually thinking, rather than launching into automatic assumptions. On the merit of a life lived by principle regardless of personal fortunes.
Like all of us Stoics also had emotions, enjoyed and promoted positive ones such as respect, trust and intimacy, empathy and courage. Their chief difference was in that they placed actions above words, using your time meaningfully rather than obsessing pointlessly over exaggerated slants and imaginary affronts.
Stoicism told people: Be at peace, live with principle. You cannot control what opinion others form of you, and in trying you only debase and erode your true nature, so live authentically whenever possible. Evade the dictature of an over-reacting emotional mind, find the self-discipline in your innermost, that awareness of your emotions that will allow you to live more free. And if disaster should still strike (the Stoics made no mystery of life being a mix of things you can/cannot control) you will always be in a stronger position.
Be merry, be brave, be ambitious, treat people as you would like them to treat you. Be demanding with yourself but tolerant with others. In ups or downs, try to live life by principle and care about the greater good. Realise that it is not the length of our lives that matters, but it is that they are lived with honor and principle.
“Be indifferent to what makes no difference” as Marcus Aurelius wrote in his meditations.
