NPD symptoms are ego-led and drama-fueled: Inflated sense of self-importance and self worth, deep and regular need for admiration or attention, inability to respect sound boundaries. NPD symptoms typically also mean that their relations are unstable and their partners hurt or depressed by their regular demands, manipulation and general “double standard”. The causes of NPD in individuals are not certain and still in debate. Consensus exists on their multi-original form: NPD is thought to be the result of genetic, environmental and psychological factors. Early experiences such as high expectations from parents, abuse or neglect, as well as over-protection have been found to favour the appearance of NPD in children and young adults.
NPD Symptoms
NPD, in the classification of the DSM-5 (the US psychology top body, and diagnostic tool) belongs to the “Cluster B” of disorders, along with ASPD, BPD and HPD. Outwardly, it does overlap substantially with ASPD and BPD in at least the common lack of empathy, boundaries and principled behaviour. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder typically manifest the following symptoms, in their own behaviour and in their relations:
- Grandiosity: A feeling of superiority, doubled with an exaggerated belief in their achievements, skill, effort or victim status, depending on context.
- Excessive need for attention, admiration: NPD symptoms don’t get much more recognisable than their constant need for attention and admiration. NPD tend to have a “public” sense of their worth, as they lack internal principle. As such they regularly seek compliments, limelights.
- Transactional relationships: Narcissists tend to see the whole world as serving them somehow, and people as potential resources to achieve their personal gain.
- Low empathy: Inability, or reticence to acknowledge others’ feelings, boundaries, needs. Most NPD symptoms are made worse by their centrally, low levels of empathy.
- Envy-coloured worldview: Jealousy and envy are common symptoms of NPD as they directly revolve around ego and admiration. NPD can either believe that others envy them, or envy others themselves, it is a common lens for them.
- Haughtiness, arrogance: Displaying condescending, conceited or snobby attitudes and claims.
NPD Symptoms – Treatment & Coping Strategies
NPD can be challenging to treat, for the main part because individuals affected tend to not recognise any issue or need for help. Similar in this way to the treatment of ASPD, it is often the people impacted by the NPD who come to therapy. Similarly again to ASPD, NPD also involves the gradual erosion of the empathic partner, by the NPD individual. The regularly unreasonable demands, the low empathy, the manipulativeness and transactionality of the BPD individual end up eroding the partner’s moral compass, sense of self-worth and balanced worldview. In a safe therapeutic environment they can relearn healthy boundaries, identify abuse and manipulation, and develop better coping skills.
- Talk-based therapy: Gestalt, Person-centered Analysis are types of talk therapy that can help the NPD individual understand the root of their competitiveness and envy. They can practice and learn new ways to bond with others and enjoy more intimate and gratifying relations. Similarly their partners can relearn boundaries, see relational issues more clearly and make better decisions.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy: Can help managing symptoms and behaviours, for the BPD (outlook, behaviour) as well as their partner (coping).
- Group Therapy: By its own democratic nature, a safe group can be a great place to experiment and practice new, richer, fairer and more empathic ways of connecting.
Conclusion: The NPD individual and their environment; partners
As for most personal disorders, the impact of the symptoms of BPD can be extensive, confusing and devastating to their partners, siblings, environment. Partners typically find themselves initially love-bombed, or placed on a pedestal for their NPD to admire. However, their status becomes quickly degraded as their (reasonable) behaviour does not meet the NPD’s unrealistic expectations, demands. This dynamic can often cycle between regular abuse and occasional admiration, leading to long-term decrease in self-esteem for the partner, confusion, isolation. Lacking empathy, NPD individuals struggle with authentic connection and prefer typically drama or envy or admiration. Their inability to recognise or validate their partner’s valid emotions makes partners feel unvalued, neglected, unheard, depressed. The constant need for validation and admiration of the narcissistic also precludes the partner from sharing their needs and desires, slanting the relation into a one-sided transaction.